This step by step guide to cuckolding is for both men, women and couples.
Cuckolding for a couple is a complex journey with many aspects to consider.
Take your time, read everything you can find and talk, establish limits and work together to make it fabulous part of your sex life.
Ground Zero
Have you talked about cuckolding together?
For years, I hid that naughty little secret of a dark cuckold desire.. cuckolds are not illegal, not revolting, not for everyone.
Over 80% of (male) cuckolds have not told their partner because of either embarrassment, shame, fear or believing she would not be interested. The cuckold fantasizes, watches cuckold porn, reads cuckold stories and trawls the internet, feeding his cuckold desires. In most cases, never intending to tell their partner.
What cuckolds don’t realise is many women acknowledge cuckolds are a common male fetish, and understandable. Many women would happily role-play the cuckold fantasy during sex, if it contributes to a better sex life. Most prefer it to remain a fantasy kept in the privacy of the home, not taking it into the real world.
There are also women who have fantasized about men outside their marriage but are too afraid of the husband’s reaction. Catch 22!
There is only one way to find out.. talk!
A Cuckold Journey
The best approach for any cuckold is taking it slow and in stages:
- Fantasy
- Invite the wife
- Roleplay
- Real world
Getting Started
Like all sexual fantasies involving couples, cuckolding is easier said than done.
The best way of starting the cuckold journey is talking about it in the privacy of home, and then when the couple are on the same page, take it into the bedroom and incorporate into sex. Role play the wife taking a partner and see how it goes.
During talks, cuckolds often learn things about their wives and their likes/dislikes that they never considered. Admitting to one fantasy will often open windows to other fantasies.
Bedroom Talk
Bedroom talk (role play) is commital-free, no consequence sex involving a third party, yes another man.
During role play, both man and woman describe how they see cuckold sex from their perspective. From who the bull is, to meeting (date), to foreplay (wife/bull), cuckold involvement (if any – watching, listening, wanking) to sex between the wife and bull. It may include post sex.. cuddling, kissing, round 2, cleaning (wife by cuckold) and sex with the cuckold. These are just ideas but considerations. Most cuckolds in the early fantasy stages don’t consider the desires and fantasies of his wife. It comes as a shock to discover she is much more into it than he thought.
It’s important that both male and female describe what turns them on and their expectations. For example, if the male wants to watch then he must include it. No point getting to date night and find he is left at home. If she fantasizes about un-protected sex (cum inside), she needs to include it.
Cuckold Roleplay
Scroll down for stories and articles that include roleplay to get ideas.
Let the cuckold begin the roleplay, describing how he imagines his cuckolding as this will encourage her.
It can begin with a date night (wife going on a date with her bull), going to a restaurant or bar. This way she can get to know him and build the excitement.
She will want to take a bath and get ready to meet him for the first time. She will want to dress for him, wearing lingerie and do her hair. The cuckold will want to watch her get dressed and talk about her evening and her expectations. Talking is the best way of discovery.
If the cuckold is to be part of the sex, then she should bring the bull home. If not, she can txt the progress during the evening. Imagine her sending hubby a naughty pic? This is exhilerating for the cuck.
In simple terms, if you cannot get excited together in your own bedroom, then its not going to work in the real world.
The Talk: Fantasy to Real World
OK, so you have decided to take the next step from fantasy to reality. Congratulations.
Sit down with a drink and discuss the considerations (below) and agree on every single one. I cannot emphasize enough.. breaking any rules is a game changer. If he or she enages in something that was agreed would not happen, then the relationship immediately changes.
Also agree on..
- Safe word – if something goes wrong and if said – everyone (husband/wife/bull) stops – make sure the bull knows too
- Stop – agree what will happen if you stop (talk, leave, bull leaves room etc)
Cuckold Considerations
Every cuckold is different, this cannot be stressed enough. Every wife is different, and so they have to meet in the middle.
- Anal (includes oral and sex)
- Cage (cuckold wears a cock cage)
- Condom (affects other considerations)
- Creampie – semen (cuckold cleans wife after sex)
- Cuckold + Bull (sucking cock, anal)
- D/S (dom/sub play)
- Humiliation (his cock is bigger than yours, name calling)
- Kissing*
- Oral (wife sucks bulls cock)
- Public (wife+bull allowed)
- Restraints (if any)
- Rimming (anal licking)
- Safety (medical and precautions)
- Snowball (wife kisses cuckold with cum in her mouth)
- Swallow (wife swallows cum)
- Verbal (things cuckold likes to hear)
- Voyuer (cuckold watches) – same room/video, position (chair, bed, floor)
- Wanking (cuckold masturbates while watching)
Fantasy versus Reality
It’s one thing to talk about and roleplay but a massive step to take a cuckold fantasy to real life.
Men fantasize about their wives having sex with other men, or role play her fucking someone but have you considered how you will feel if you saw her, lost in the passion of the moment doing things she’s never done with you? Kissing is an obvious one given its most personal. Sucking cock, swallowing his cum, what if she turned him round and tongued his ass? Or let him fuck her in the ass? She may be doing it for your benefit, humiliating you but to see her doing those things can be confronting.
It’s these kind of things that need to be role played and discussed so that if you ever do go real life, then everyone knows the boundaries.
* This may surprise some but is a good example to discuss. One reader explained hubby allowed everything (including anal) except her kissing the bull (it was too personal).
Or is it hotter when you simply keep it in your bedroom, watch porn, etc.?
Power dynamics
Many cuckolds enjoy the submissive aspect of cuckolding. They want to engage in power dynamics that involve serving their partner and helping them find and/or please the “alpha” partner (the bull). They may even enjoy the humiliation that comes from feeling like another person can please their partner better than they can, and they’ll want their partner to play up this idea with dirty talk or reporting back the sexual acts that took place.
In some extreme BDSM cuckolding porn, you can see the cuckold locked in a box while a woman and the bull engage in intercourse on top of the box. You can also find videos of the cuck cleaning up after the sexual acts or other degrading acts involved in helping the bull and the female partner enjoy themselves.
Candaulism
The Candaulism fetish is where the husband gets a thrill and pride from having a wife that other men want and from showing her off/sharing her [with] those men. If a man enjoys cuckolding for this reason primarily, there’s a good chance he’s more into hotwifing than cuckolding
If at the end of the role play, it has brought you closer together with hot sex talking about her with another man, then you’re on the right path.
If you find you’re both on the same page and excited by cuckold role play, then (and only then) can you consider going real world.
How to find a third party
This is the hard part.. finding that special third wheel, someone you both like.
It is best if the person is unknown. Hooking up with friends, work colleagues, or club associations has all kinds of issues down the track. Even when the bedroom talk was about someone you both know, beside complications then there is always the emotional connection – this is “sex play” not relationship building.
There are many apps available for couples to find friends along with dating apps like Tinder, and simply explain in your profile exactly what you’re looking for.
If you prefer to meet people in real life first, try going to a bar as a couple and meeting someone, or.. she sits by herself and he watches from a distance. Don’t be surprised if bars in your area have singles/couples nights for this kind of hookup.
Cuckolding do’s and don’ts
1. Do take it slow
Unfortunately, many people idealize their fantasy so much, they are surprised to have strong, unexpected reactions when they try to make a fantasy into reality. Couples should dip their toe into the water and find gentle, slow ways to ease into exploring these fantasies, with lots of room for check-ins and communication about feelings, reactions, and fears.
Some ways to try dipping your toes into the water could be watching your partner flirt with a stranger at a bar, watching porn together, having your partner webcam or have FaceTime sex with someone else while you watch, or even something as simple as talking to your partner about who they find attractive.
2. Don’t try to convince your partner to do something they’re not into
You’ll find self-proclaimed “experts” on the internet trying to teach you how to “trick” your wife into cuckolding you. Please, don’t! Consent is an absolute must, no matter how kinky. If they’re not into your sexual fantasy, it’s important to respect that.
3. Do discuss what you’re both comfortable with beforehand
As with any fantasy, it’s important to think things through carefully before acting. Does the cuck want to watch? Do they want you to tell them every little detail after? Do you both want to select the third partner together? Do you want to set limits as to what kind of people you want to involve in your cuckolding? Do you want your partner to humiliate you? There are a ton of questions to answer together even after you’re both turned on by the same general fantasy. Make sure you’re both on the same page beforehand so nobody’s feelings are hurt later.
The bottom line is communication with all parties involved to make sure everyone is fully aware of needs and boundaries. It’s always OK to take a break or change your mind at any time.
4. Don’t completely objectify the third party (unless they’re into that)
Sometimes, the third partner that’s invited to play with a couple ends up getting treated like a sex toy. With cuckolding, in particular, there are racial dynamics (and outright racism) at play that are worth being well-informed about to make sure the way you go about exploring your fantasies doesn’t do any harm.
With certain kinky exceptions, most humans would like to be treated as humans—not like an accessory to your and your partner’s sex lives. Make sure to extend the same communication and respect to your new third partner that you do to your primary partner.
5. Do take safety precautions
As always, make sure you both get tested and use protection before partaking in any sex with a new partner—even if you’ve both been monogamous for a significant amount of time. And of course, ensure that your new partner gets tested beforehand as well. This is critical if the couple are into cum games such as creampies, cleaning, breeding, snowballs and swallowing.
The bottom line
At the end of the day, cuckolding can be a fun way to spice up your sex life. However, if either you and your partner decide that cuckolding is too intense or risky for a real-life scenario then keep it fun within the bedroom as a fantasy.
Opinion: keep it at home!
As an experienced, happily married cuckold with a wife that has a boyfriend, I believe the cuckold fantasy should be kept within the bedroom at home.
I understand its not what a cuckold wants to hear but.. if the cuckold’s fetish includes the possibility of losing his wife or discovering things about his wife that he may regret learning then that’s the chance he must consider making.
What begins as an innocent fantasy has many ramifications. The fantasy involves human emotions that no-one can predict and for this reason, I believe its best kept as a fantasy between the husband and wife (at home).
